There are common conventions that New Jersey parents feel that they must follow in a divorce. However, while the popular thought is that they benefit the children, parents should not follow common wisdom simply for the sake of following it. What works best for some children may not work best for yours.
One agreement does not work for every circumstance
What is important is considering your children’s own unique situation as opposed to doing something just because the experts tell you. Take the time to think about the logistics and each parent’s relationship with the children before you agree to any type of custody agreement. Things like splitting holidays right down the middle or a pure 50/50 split with alternating times may not work for the children. After all, any visitation arrangement needs to be in the children’s best interests, not just the parents’.
Buck convention and overlook myths
A major problem during divorce is when one parent becomes locked into one way of thinking because it is what they have been conditioned to believe. It may take some negotiation to break the deadlock when you are asking for something different from what convention requires. One thing to insist on in the custody agreement is that the parents have uniform rules for children in both homes. Children who split their time between homes may suffer when there is a lack of consistency. Many parents try to reset when the child gets there, meaning they will not carry out a punishment that the other parent imposes. Things like this can be addressed in an agreement between the parents.
You should seek the help of a family law attorney when negotiating a custody agreement during a divorce. Parents may overlook certain issues because they are going through a stressful time or just want everything to be finished. An attorney will point out considerations and help you arrive at a custody agreement that works best for the children.